


Finding Solace

by LadyLasa



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, Rating May Change, Sequel, Slow Build, side MakoRin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2015-09-22
Packaged: 2018-04-23 00:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4855787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLasa/pseuds/LadyLasa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to "A Thousand Smiles".  After that night on the beach, Sousuke and Haru have to find a way to move forward without their best friends by their sides. Both facing the reality of a life without Rin and Makoto around, they have a chance to realize that maybe they're not so different after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding Solace

**Author's Note:**

> I've been meaning to finish this first chapter for a while, and it's finally done. This is the direct sequel to "A Thousand Smiles", so in order to really understand what's going on, I strongly recommend that you read that one first. Hope you enjoy this segment of the story!

I never really had much of an opinion when it came to Tachibana. He made Rin happy, and as Rin’s best friend, I respected that. Walking in on them at awkward times was something I could have lived without, but I couldn’t begrudge them the opportunity to get laid. Rin was always on cloud nine whenever he came back to the dorms after seeing his boyfriend, and I couldn’t help but be happy for them. I might have been apprehensive at first – Tachibana wasn’t a small guy by any stretch of the imagination – but he seemed like a giant Golden Retriever, and any concerns I had about him eventually slipped to the back of my mind.

The first time Rin came back nearly in tears, I wanted to brush it off as nothing more than their first fight. There was something different about it, though. Rin was actually _scared_ , and that was definitely not okay. Couples always got into an argument at one point or another, but to see my best friend in that state was more than I could accept.

I wish I could say that things got better, but I’d be lying. If that were the case, I wouldn’t be sitting here on the beach half soaked from a storm that came out of nowhere. It’s hard to believe that Rin caused it, but Tachibana’s breathless explanation as we raced towards the ocean last night had been as convincing as it was unbelievable.

All I can do now is stare out at the calm waves as reality sinks in. He’s gone and he isn’t coming back. I wish I could have stopped it. I wish that between me and Tachibana, we could have convinced whatever was possessing him to let him go. Failure weighs heavily on me because I’d never felt as helpless as I did in that moment. I couldn’t save him; I couldn’t save either of them.

There’s a blanket around my shoulders, and I’m not exactly sure how it got there. I don’t remember anyone coming up to me, but even as it warms the early morning chill from my wet skin, it does nothing to thaw the sharp, icy stab of loss. Rin was my best friend, and I don’t think there’s anyone else like him in the entire world. He was more than a friend; he was closer to me than a brother. Now that he’s gone, I feel like part of myself is lost in the ocean that took him from me.

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a figure sit beside me, pressing a warm mug into my hands. It takes a lot of effort, but I pull my attention away from the waves to find out who actually gave enough of a damn to come out here. Nanase doesn’t look at me. He’s staring out at the ocean as if it held answers, and he says nothing. His actions are surprising, and I find myself staring at him in confusion.

It’s no secret that he and I generally tolerated each other for the sake of Rin and Tachibana. We’ve barely spoken to each other, save for the time I threatened him not to get in Rin’s way, and now I find myself feeling kind of bad about that. He may seem uninterested in anything that doesn’t involve water, but judging by the blanket and tea, he isn’t the asshole I thought he was.

His expression betrays nothing as he holds his own mug in both hands, and I return my attention to the water in the vain hope that I might see a flash of red hair. It’s useless, of course. There’s no way that they could have survived that storm. I just hope that it was quick. I’ve heard that drowning is one of the worst ways to go, and the thought of Rin suffering like that causes bile to rise in my throat.

I swallow it down with a sip of tea, thankful for the heat that spreads through me, but it still doesn’t make me feel any better. If anything, it might prevent me from getting sick from being out here all night, but I can’t bring myself to care. For a moment, I almost believe that I can see him out there in the distance, and I know that lack of sleep and shock are screwing with my vision. I should go, but I can’t bring myself to move.

But then I see it again, and I sit up a bit straighter. It’s impossible, but I swear I can see that familiar sight of dark red hair growing closer. Nanase stiffens beside him, and maybe I’m not losing my mind after all. Holding my breath, I wait another few seconds, and there’s no mistaking it now. Either I passed out at some point and this is a dream, or Rin is alive and coming back to shore.

I’m on my feet before I can second guess myself, the blanket and mug discarded on the sand. Nanase is right beside me as I fight the waves to meet Rin halfway, and I barely notice that Rin isn’t alone. Tachibana is with him, but that doesn’t even matter because Rin is _alive_. There’s something off about him, though, and it isn’t until I try to get him to come out of the water that things turn awkward.

He’s not human anymore, not completely anyway. As if last night wasn’t weird enough, the consequence of their choice to sacrifice themselves to save Iwatobi manifests in the change in their physical bodies. The fish-like tails where legs should be make it clear that they can’t leave the ocean now, and that casts a shadow on the relief that I felt moments ago, but how can I be upset when staring at my best friend and knowing that he’s not dead?

It’s almost comical to watch him tackle Tachibana back into the water, and I can’t resist a laugh at Nanase’s remark about waiting for us to leave. I’ve seen the two of them in enough compromising situations to agree with the sentiment.

It’s a lot to take in, but I can live with knowing that he’s going to be okay. Whatever resentment I feel towards Tachibana can’t stand up against the happiness I see in Rin’s eyes when he looks at him. That has to count for something. We do eventually make it to the shore, and the two of them lounge halfway in the water so we can talk without any of us being too uncomfortable. There are so many things I want to ask, but it can wait.

“I’m going to see you again, right?” I have to ask. “I know things are different, but you’re not going to just disappear on me, are you?”

“You think you can get rid of me that easily?” Rin laughs, and a smile finds its way to my lips. “I may be half shark, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t hang out anymore. You’ll just have to drag your ass out here more often.” He glances over to where Nanase and Tachibana are having their own quiet discussion before he grows serious. “Hey, Sou. Meet me over there. I need to talk to you about something else.”

Honestly, he could have asked me to swim five kilometers into the ocean to talk to me in private, and I would have done it, but I glance to where he’s gesturing and start towards it. Rin disappears back into the water as I climb over the rocks on the shoreline, trying to be careful. The adrenaline is starting to wear off, and the effects of being awake all night, along with everything that happened, are starting to make themselves known.

The cove is quiet, set apart from the rest of the beach, and Rin surfaces moments after I settle on one of the rocks. He pulls himself up to sit beside me, and I don’t even try not to stare. I’m happy as hell that he’s alive, but this is still pretty fucking weird. It’s a lot to take in. Sitting beside him, I notice the gills along the side of his neck and torso, but he seems to have no trouble breathing air either. Without realizing it, my hand is only a couple centimeters above the grey skin of his tail, and he clears his throat to get my attention.

“Sorry,” I mumble, looking away.

“It’s fine,” he says. “I don’t think Mako will mind if you touch it. I know this isn’t something that you see every day.”

“It sounds really weird when you say it like that.” Regardless, I tentatively rest my hand on his tail, and the first thought that comes to mind is a trip I took to the aquarium years ago where they actually let you touch the sharks. “Holy shit. So it’s real.”

“Yeah,” Rin says, and his laugh is just as awkward as it’s always been. “Listen, Sousuke, this is kind of important. Makoto and I didn’t expect this to happen. I didn’t even know it could go this far, but there’s no way to go back. I need you to do something for me, though, and I know it’s probably not something you’re going to want to do, but it would really mean a lot to both of us.”

“Look, if it’s important to you, then you don’t even have to ask.” Rin was there for me when I needed him, pushed me not to give up. If he wants my help, then there’s no way I’m going to refuse. “What do you need?”

“Just… Keep an eye on Haru, okay?” Even with my assurances, he looks like he’s expecting me to say no. “He’s had Makoto there almost his whole life, and now he doesn’t have anyone. His parents haven’t been around in years, and I think he’s going to need someone who understands what he’s going through. Mako is like a brother to him, and I’m not asking you to fill that role, but just make sure he doesn’t shut himself away from everyone.”

He’s right. I don’t like the idea. Then again, I would have sat out there on the beach freezing my ass off until I finally found it in me to leave – and who the hell knows when that would have been – if Nanase hadn’t brought a blanket a tea out to make sure I didn’t get pneumonia or some shit like that. Rin’s right; I _do_ know what Nanase is going through and how hard it’s going to be for him, because I’m dealing with the same thing.

“You’re still a pain in the ass,” I say. “You know that, right?” He looks like he’s about to argue, but I let out an exaggerated sigh, and I start talking again before he gets upset. The last thing I want is to make him cry again. “Fine, but if he turns out to be a total asshole, then the deal’s off.”

His smile is definitely worth whatever I just signed on for, and I can’t help but share it when he throws himself against me for a hug. This is definitely something that’s been on his mind, and knowing that I’m helping to ease his worries gives me the resolve not to back out of it. I’m not doing this for Nanase or Tachibana. This is for Rin, and he knows that I’m not going to call it off even if Nanase starts acting like the biggest prick I’ve ever met.

“Alright, alright,” I say, fighting back a laugh. “Get off of me. You smell like fucking seafood.”

“Sousuke,” he says as he lets go. “Thanks. It wouldn’t kill you two to be friends, either. Yeah, you had a rough start, but you two have more in common than you think.”

I seriously doubt that. I’m not about to argue with him, though, and I’m not going to admit that at least trying to be friends with Nanase would make this easier. For a few minutes, we just sit there, listening to the waves lap at the shore. It’s peaceful, and I can almost pretend that things are the same as they always were.

“There’s one more thing.” Rin’s voice interrupts my thoughts, and one look at him reminds me that last night isn’t something that I can wipe from my memories. “I need to explain this to Gou. Can you see if you can get her to come out here to see me? You don’t have to tell her what happened or anything; just tell her that it’s really important and this is the only place we can meet.”

“No problem.” This request is much easier than his other one. I see Gou as a little sister, too, and she deserves to know what happened to her brother. I can’t imagine her sitting at home thinking that he’s lost at sea like their dad was. It would kill her. “What about your mom?”

“Her too,” he says without hesitation. “It’s going to be a really weird conversation, but I don’t want her to worry.”

I really, _really_ don’t want to break the news to his mom, but who else is going to do it? That also means that I need to figure out what the hell to tell her and Gou to get them out here to the beach. The best way to handle it would be to just tell them that Rin wanted to meet them here, and then let him explain it. Actually, that might work.

“I should go,” he says, glancing out towards the water.

I never thought anyone could look at the ocean with more longing than Nanase, but Rin proves me wrong. His eyes seem distant, and he tips his head to the side as if listening to something that I can’t hear. It’s frustrating, and it only reinforces the fact that things will never be the same again.

“Rin?” It takes a few seconds for him to pull his attention away from the waves to look at me. “Why do you think that the spirit changed you? Last night, I thought you were gone for good, but it let you live.”

“I don’t know,” he admits. “Maybe it has something to do with the whole self-sacrificing thing. Mako and I were willing to drown to keep this town standing, so maybe it decided that this was enough of a sacrifice. I guess we’ll find out.” He looks out towards the water again, and I know what he’s going to say before he continues. “I really need to go. It’s kinda dry out here.”

I try to smile, really I do, but it hits me that I’m going to head back to our dorm room alone. I’m probably going to spend the rest of my third year without a roommate, and to be honest, I don’t think I can deal with having another one anyway. I transferred to Samezuka because of Rin, because I wanted to swim with him again even if my own future is shot, but that’s all over now.

“Yeah, I know.” At least I can keep my voice steady. “Don’t let Tachibana give you any shit, okay? I’ll swim out there and kick his ass if I have to.”

Rin just laughs and drops back into the water, disappearing almost instantly. After a moment, his head breaks the surface, and he motions towards the spot where we left Tachibana and Nanase. I don’t really want to deal with either of them, but I’m not going to pass up a chance to say goodbye to Rin.

It doesn’t take me long to meet up with them, and it’s no surprise that Rin’s already there. We only exchange a few more parting words before he and Tachibana head back out to sea, leaving me standing there with Nanase. For some reason, I have the feeling that Tachibana gave him the same talk that Rin just gave me, because he’s starting at me with interest in his eyes while his expression is otherwise blank.

Without a word, he heads back up the beach towards civilization, and I’m not sure if he expects me to follow or if I’m supposed to find my way back to the train station. Maybe by the time I get there, the trains will start running again. I give one last glance at the ocean before shoving my hands in my pocket and starting in the general direction I think I followed Tachibana last night. When I look up again, Nanase is stopped halfway up the beach, and his lips are pressed in a thin line of annoyance.

“What?” I match his look with my tone; I’m not in the mood to deal with his shit today, even if he was decent enough to bring me tea and a blanket.

“I live up the hill,” he says, as if that’s all the explanation he needs. “Grab the mugs and blanket on your way.”

I guess that answers that question. I can’t help but mutter under my breath as I grab the cups and toss the blanket over my shoulder. I’m already covered in sand, so it doesn’t really matter if more of it gets on me. Nanase waits until I get close to him before continuing up to the pavement, and neither of us speaks as we climb the stairs towards his house. The silence isn’t uncomfortable, just different. I’m so used to Rin carrying conversations that I’m not sure how to start one with someone like Nanase. He doesn’t seem to mind, though.

Even though I leave my shoes by the door, both of us manage to track sand into the house, but he doesn’t complain. Rin would have bitched for twenty minutes if this were our dorm room. _Stop it_ , I chide myself. I shouldn’t be comparing my best friend to his boyfriend’s best friend. Nothing good can come of that.

Nanase goes directly to the kitchen, and I join him in time to watch him dry his hands before tying an apron around his waist. Judging by the shadows under his eyes, he’s just as exhausted as I am, but that doesn’t stop him from dropping a pair of filets into a pan. There’s a strange sense of comfort as I wash the mugs while he cooks, and I’m glad for the silence so that I can try to sort through what happened last night.

“Breakfast,” he announces, pulling me out of my own head.

He’s already hung up his apron, and he gestures to the remaining plate on the counter as he carries his own out to the living room. I never really thought that Nanase cared much about anything that didn’t involve a pool – to hear Rin talk about him, the guy would sleep in the water if they’d let him – so the small things that he’s done this morning to show otherwise come as a surprise. The aroma of freshly grilled fish causes my stomach to protest, and I take my plate to join him at the small table.

“Thank you,” I tell him after a few minutes. He glances up at me, and his eyes are unreadable. “Not just for this, but for coming out there earlier. You didn’t have to do that.”

“You didn’t have enough sense to go inside,” he said, returning his attention to his meal. “But I understand why you were there.” He picks at the rice, stirring it around on his plate before he speaks again. “I have to talk to Makoto’s family, and then I’ll show you how to get back to the station.”

“I’ll be fine on my own.” I hope. His quiet snort tells me that he thinks I’m full of shit too, and he’s not exactly wrong. “Fine.” Another few beats of silence stretch between us, and now it’s starting to feel awkward. “Do you want me to go with you to Tachibana’s?”

“I was planning to go with you to Rin’s, but do whatever you want.” He finishes off his rice, and gets to his feet, every movement sluggish.

“You look like you’re about to fall over, Nanase.” I really, really don’t need him falling on his face on the way to the station or falling asleep while we’re trying to talk to the Tachibana family. “We can break the news later, but you’re going to pass out if you don’t get some rest, and I’m not carrying you back up those stairs.”

I can’t really take his glare seriously, but at least he doesn’t argue. Considering the shape he’s in, he’s likely to drop the plate and make an even bigger mess, so I decide that it’s safer just to take it from him. As I’m washing the dishes, my mind wanders, but I still can’t seem to process everything that happened during the past twenty-four hours. It’s surreal, and I keep expecting to wake up to the sound of Rin talking in his sleep on the bottom bunk in our dorm room.

“You should sleep, too.” Nanase’s voice brings be back to the present, back to the reality that Rin isn’t here. “I can find something for you to wear if you want to shower.”

How the hell does he manage to keep surprising me? It’s not like I’ve done anything to deserve his concern; I’d always flat-out refused to even acknowledge him. The tea, the blanket, breakfast, and now a place to crash and clean clothes? It doesn’t make sense, and I stare at him, the last plate forgotten in my hand.

Understanding hits me like a sucker punch. We’re both lost, floundering for something to guide us forward when our closest friends have left us. I transferred schools for Rin, Nanase has had Tachibana with him since they were kids, and with them gone, it leaves a void that we don’t know how to fill. Rin’s words come back to me, reminding me that maybe Nanase and I can get along, despite the shit that’s happened between us. He certainly seems to be making an effort.

“I think I’ll take you up on that.” Putting away the plate, I hang the towel to dry as he starts to leave the room, but I have to say this before I lose my nerve. “Nanase?” He pauses to look at me, but says nothing. “Thanks again. I know I’ve been kind of a dick, but I really appreciate this.”

His expression gives no clue as to what’s going on in his head, but I get the feeling that he’s making an assessment. His eyes seem calculating, and I’m feeling just a little bit self-conscious under his stare. Finally, he nods and starts towards the stairs again, but his voice is loud enough for me to hear his response.

“It’s Haru.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr - [ ladylasa ](http://ladylasa.tumblr.com)


End file.
